Random Rambles

I no longer see myself as a white parent with an Asian child.
Surprising? In that I even thought of myself that way? Well, it's true and that's the honesty part. I never kidded myself about our recognizable difference in appearance. While very much aware and proud of my daughter’s heritage, I'm most proud of my daughter, our developing relationship and the fact I am her dad.

It’s hard to blog.

It’s a combination of things. I knew time would be a factor once we had AA home and it has been. What I failed to factor into the equation was the emotional fatigue brought on by The Wait. Once home, it was like slowly letting air out of a balloon.

Acceptance by the Mother-Hood.

While considerably more common today, a guy still changes the dynamics of a group play date. I approached this group with more than a bit of trepidation in what is generally viewed as the exclusive domain of woman. As you would imagine, my fears were baseless. Each of us is simply a parent trying to raise good kids while attempting to save a modicum of our sanity along the way.

The guilt factor.

This one works both ways. There are my wife’s feelings of guilt for being away from AA because of her work and my own feelings of guilt of being home with AA while mom has to work. Neither is healthy and we both need to get over it. This is how we planned it and we need to work the plan.

Do we have an issue here?

You could write a book on this one. Oh wait, many have…

It’s easy to fall into the trap of “looking for” behavior or learning issues. All somehow related to the experiences of abandonment/adoption. For the most part, if you have an issue, trust yourself in recognizing it. Be alert to the observations of close friends. We work at making ourselves see Alyzabeth’s behaviors as “just being a kid” first but we're always mindful of what could be...

The secret handshake.

Copyrights to “The Secret Handshake” belong to Johnny over at So, It's Come Down To This.

There is an immediate draw, a fascination of sorts when spying what appears to be a family possibly sharing a similar adoption experience. Johnny says we need some type of secret handshake to identify ourselves to each other. It’s true. We do share a common bond that creates an opportunity to meet others on this incredible journey.

Get busy on the handshake Johnny! Actually, I think I remember a post on that :)

peace

fm