Gotcha. Forever. Whatever...

We plan to refer to ourselves as our daughter's "Forever Family". We made the decision some time back to substitute Forever in place of "Gotcha" with Forever Day replacing Gotcha Day.

We did use Gotcha early on not spending a great deal of time analyzing how it could come across to our daughter, as we were too giddy with learning lots of new international adoption "terms". And besides, over analyzing anything soon becomes a lesson in not seeing the forest for the trees type of thing. If you have chosen to use Gotcha, go for it. If, like us, you have chosen to use Forever, then by all means, do it.

Here's an article that speaks volumes about the term "gotcha". From the magazine Adoptive Families, the article is entitled "Get Rid of Gotcha" by Karen Moline, it makes many good points:

I find the use of "gotcha" to describe the act of adoption both astonishing and offensive. Aside from being parent-centered ("C'mere, little orphan, I gotcha now!") it smacks of acquiring a possession, not welcoming a new person into your life.

Please take the time to read the comments on this article as they are very insightful and give several "sides" of the story. Here's one unique comment from Tania:

As usual, people read way too much into a silly/fun word. My daughter, adopted at 14, refers to her special day as "gotcha day" because it is the day SHE GOT US! We never used the term, she did. She will walk up to me at random times (not just "gotcha day") throw her arms around me and say "gotcha....and I am never going to let go." Who am I to tell her that her feelings of happiness and belonging are politically incorrect? Not every adoption is the same. Not every adoptee was an infant. Not every birth parent lovely relinquished their child in nobility. Not every family is overly sensitive to terminology. Maybe it is about time other people stopped telling me how to refer to a HAPPY FUN FILLED EXCITING day for my child.

Gotcha or Forever. Call this "most wonderful of times" what you will. It's your call, just as it should be. And ultimately, it boils down to what you know works best for you and your family!