Friday, July 25, 2014

"Is She Having Fun?"

When it comes to Alyzabeth playing golf it's a question often asked along with, "Does she enjoy playing?" In the beginning I would beam and excitedly share AA's golfing achievements. I still do at times. However, that glow has begun to fade. Enough so that I am giving serious thought to closing the window into this part of our family life.

Let's cut to the chase. Often, not always, what is being asked is if Alyzabeth plays because she wants to or plays because we make her. To please us. Does she enjoy playing or have we decided she's going to play regardless. The parent pushing the kid. The parent living out their life through their child. To be sure we've met "those parents." Those whose behaviors give rise to the questions being asked. We are also well aware that we are lumped into that group by some. 

We have friends whose children play and compete musically. Drums, Piano, Violin, Dance, Voice, etc. We have friends whose children play and compete in Soccer. T-Ball. Baseball. Football. Basketball. Karate. Gymnastics. Swimming. Cheer-leading. etc. We have friends whose children are learning to speak and write Chinese. All of these parents shuttle the kids to Practices. Recitals. Games. Performances. Are the kids having fun? Do they enjoy it? If the kid says yes - are you going to believe them or in your mind is it really just about the parent?

When golf began for Alyzabeth her coach stressed the importance of keeping the game fun. Not a  lesson went by but what he talked about that. When golf began for Alyzabeth, her coach stressed the importance of practicing what she just learned. Not a single lesson went by but what he talked about that.

How long AA plays golf is anyone's guess. She is young. Burnout is always the risk as is an interest in something entirely new and different. You never know. Maybe she will take up piano complete with practices and eager parents basking in the proud glory of recitals.
I always wanted to play piano but... Would I have had fun? Would I have enjoyed it?


1 comment:

Leaa said...

Good post, Dad. I think you can usually tell in the tone what parents are asking. Judgement or no.
My issue, and what I think about the most when it comes to my situation is: Is this a hobby or something more?
Do you study music or do you STUDY MUSIC? Do you dance or DO YOU DANCE? Golf applies of course. In a perfect world, I could foster my kids love for all their interests; dance, music, swimming..., but in reality, holy moly. How can you make that choice at such a young age? That may be where the parents come in. If you see the potential in your child that is organic and natural, do you proceed even if they enjoy it at times and vice versa? Jesse and I were music people. No doubt. How early ? I don't know. Good luck with the parental grappling. It's hard for sure. The struggle is real. Love you,