Monday, June 23, 2008

Hunkering Down Before July Referrals

We seem to be entering a phase that can only be described as "hunkering down".
An analogy. Of Sorts.

When hurricanes threaten we instinctively begin to horde non-perishable food, water, batteries, gas, etc. You name it, we stock up and get ready to ride it out. This can go on for days and in some cases, weeks (though 2004 was more like months!). It's a bit draining to say the least. In any event, you prepare for anything and everything while fully expecting conditions to change on a dime.

Which leads me to believe we have somehow slipped into a Referral Hunker Down mode. A somewhat defensive position designed to guard oneself against any sudden "storms" or unsuspected weather disturbances in the ever changing clime of Adoption World. It's like we're planning an outdoor celebration but spending an inordinate amount of time worried about the possibility of it raining. While being properly prepared is one thing, to lose sight of the joy ushering in the celebration seems a bit. Well... Silly.

So why the defensive posturing? Possibly it's self preservation to help dampen the emotional setback in not receiving a Referral in July? Sure, I can buy into that. Poor us. Yeah, right. Then again, maybe it's the strain of The Wait catching up to us? Can't lie, that one does pop its head up every now and then forcing us to grab a mallet and pound it back down. You know, it could be we're just a little edgy. In an excited, nervous sort of way. Heck, we might be doing you all a favor. Everyone on this journey is experiencing The Wait. Whining about it, while bringing much needed empathy, can easily become too much whining sending blog friends, neighbors and family looking for a quick but polite exit. Can you blame them?

With all of this and that rattling about my head, a thought just slipped in. It could be we're not so much experiencing an emotional hunkering as it is we're storing up referral energy reserves. We're not being defensive. We're being pro-active. Oh, I like that idea. Storing energy reserves. That's it! We're not "hunkering" we're Storing! I love it when a seemingly negative force pressing against you suddenly becomes a positive force propelling you.

So. Do I change the title to Storing Energy Before July Referrals? Nah. Let it ride... After all, it's a long storm season here in Florida and we should stay prepared for August just in case. Storing Energy. Man, I'm glad I thought of that... Feeling better already.


Vivian M said...

Now that's what I call looking at the glass as half full. Stay positive!
It seems with the "wait" that we keep preparing our hearts for the worst (no referral this month - again!) although we are hoping for the best. And then as you get close, you either get insanely calm or calmly insane.
The good news is that unlike hurricane season, when you might or might not luck out, you know what the result will be after hunkering down for the adoption wait. And that prize is worth everything you go through.
Huge hugs to you both, and hang in there. Your lives will be changing very soon!

Melissa said...

I know I feel this weird "calmness" this month. I kow if it's not July then it HAS to be August. I prefer to think positively but I am guarding my heart at the same time! Hang in there... we are getting so close!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Too true! Y'all are so close. I truly hope it is July, but there is a strange sort of peace that descends when you know with absolute certainty that you are next. Peace to you!

amy said...

totally great post!

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

It is always up in the air.. just never know.. that is I guess what keeps us all on our toes..
Keep your chin up.. at least you know you are soon..
HUGS to you both..

kris said...

You rock. And I've got big prayers going up hoping that July IS your month!

sea star said...

I can feel your rising anxiety, the world of Chinese adoption is certainly nothing less than unpredictable. No doubt, ya'll will be seeing a July referral and we will all celebrate with you. =0)

*toasting to a speedy stork*

Briana's Mom said...

I really hope that it is July for you! Fingers and toes crossed.

I definitely understand your hesitance. If for some reason you are not in July, it will definitely be August!

The cutoff was two days before my LID, so I was a little bummed that I wasn't in the May 2007 batch, but I knew for sure I was in the next batch, so I felt good about that!

OH MY #6 said...

What will life be like without the worry? I can't wait to hear that from you.

Fantastic post as usual my friend.


rubyiscoming said...

Great post - c'mon July!!! bring good news to my good friends :)

Julie said...

I love the analogy - Miss A will surely benefit from all that parental energy saving and brain power!

Ava's family said...

I really believe that July is your month!! =)

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I can't imagine how you feel right now!

I am so thankful to have my bloggy friends, because unless you are in this situation, you don't get it!

Keep the faith...I have a good feeling you are next!


Kelly And Allison said...

Great analogy. I can certainly understand the your emotion. You are too close after two years. July just around the corner. August is not that far either. Praying for your referral in July. Waiting is hard. Getting is close even harder. Keep the faith. You almost there.


Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Here's to a July referral! I refuse to believe anything else.

Great attitude though! Your sweet girl's referral is just around the corner.. I can feel it!

Lisa and Tate said...

Love the post... I could only imagine the energy you and Aly must be feeling right now!!!

Don and Be said...

Dang, Ford. Great post. Got some time to write a few for me?

Still Standing Strong in A Bloom of Hope. said...

love the post! thanks for your comment on my blog! much appreciated!!!

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Fingers crossed for you. Though do me a favour - do not say that 'H' word... we don't need anymore of those this year... hehe

Wanda and Geoff said...

I love your positive attitude! This just has to be your month! I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts! I can't wait to hear some awesome great news!

Wanda and Geoff

Sandy said...

Thinking of you guys as I read RQ's site that matching has begun! I hope the CCAA makes it to your log-in and you will see your daughter's face for the first time very soon!

Cindi said...

Love this post! While you're Storing Energy, you might want to stock your pantry and fridge, and plan some meals for referral week. I can tell you from experience, once you get that referral, nothing else will matter!
Hope it comes soon!
Cindi from RQ