Thursday, March 06, 2008

It's Your LID Month And It Changes You

The first visual clue that things have changed is noticing your LID month heads the list on those that track such things. It freezes you. You stare at the letters, J A N U A R Y and a flood of emotions slowly build and then crash in on you like waves at the beach. Big waves. Overpowering waves. It's your LID month and it changes you.

You have these intense flashbacks. Not a 60's flashback. These flashbacks spill out of your emotional basket brimming with unrealized hopes and dreams purposefully dampened as you Waited. Waiting for a daughter now jumping up at you like a crocus through the crunch of a late winter snow. Bright, cheerful and giving hope for the coming Spring. It's your LID month and it changes you.

You begin evaluating what you have left to do. The hint of urgency is allowed to creep in. A haste to put things in order emerges. A daughter's bedroom door too long closed, is opened. The Wait that has dulled your excitement and energy begins to wane. You begin daring to Imagine again. It's your LID month and it changes you.

You reflect on those whose journey you followed to China and back. The referral pictures. Their emotions laid bare upon entering their hotel room and seeing a crib. Forever Day tears of joy. Red Couch photos. The eagerness to return home. The sadness of saying goodbye to Forever Families that shared so much. It's your LID month and it changes you.

Imagine Alyzabeth An: It's easy if you try... And the tears begin to flow. It's our LID month and it changes you...

peace
fm

22 comments:

OH MY #6 said...

OK, it is way too early in the day to be teary! Thank you, for this. Lovely, just lovely.

Have a wonderful day!

Lea

Catherine said...

What a beautiful, beautiful post! So happy you're allowing us to share your excitement with you! It's your month......Wahoo!!!

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy(Kim & John) said...

Beautiful post...
LOVE IT!!!
And can't wait to see Alyzabeth An in your arms...FOREVER...
Have a Great Weekend...

Don and Be said...

You are blogland's wordsmith, Ford.
The wait .... now that we have a face connected with Joanna Mei, the wait takes on a whole different character. The overwhelming joy that I felt at her referral has turned to disorientation at times, thinking about her in some orphanage in one of the coldest winters on record in China. It's a helpless state to be in as paperwork seems to be the priority, and not necessarily her general wellbeing.
Thankfully, we both have our faith to cling to and we are grateful to you & Aly for your friendships on this journey.
Congratulations on being so close to seeing Alyzabeth An's beautiful face.
Love,
Don & Be

Pug Mama said...

ohhhhhh, you are sooooooo close!

3D said...

Thx for sharing that. I am sure the emotions are strong and the anticipation growing.

Keep smili!

kris said...

Damn it if I'm not in a huge puddle of happy tears over here... this is, without a doubt, my most favorite post of yours... YET :O)

Wendy said...

Beautifully said. And you are so right. Once you hit your LID month...everything starts to change.

Brian & Ruth said...

WOW! I really don't think it could have been said any better. You manage to capture exactly what I believe the rest of us January-ier's are feeling. Thank you so much for putting it into words.

Briana's Mom said...

What a beautiful post! Everything does start to change as you get closer and closer. Referral day is a truly amazing experience!

Lisa and Tate said...

So sweet and tender. Touches me at so many levels. I can imagine Alyzabeth An...

Lisa

OziMum said...

Its amazing what a few days can do?!! If they'd allocated til 31 Dec, we'd all still be mopey.

Oooo Aly's room? Please show pics when you're done!

rubyiscoming said...

Shivers and goosebumps for you guys :)

So exciting!!!

PIPO said...

What a touching post. I already feel the changes of just entering the new year and becoming closer to February. All blessings to you as your girl draws ever nearer.

sarah said...

You're so right - I love how you've described it. It does change you; hope grows bolder. . . .

Yeah for January 2006 LID's!

Gail said...

A wonderful post.
"A daughter's bedroom door too long closed, is opened."
That says so much and did it start the tears flowing!!
I am so happy that this is your month. Its going to happen and SOON!
Blessings

Linda said...

Typing through my tears...I can only imagine opening the bedroom door to let the sunshine and hope fulfilled flow in. Thanks for such a great post. Linda

Alyson & Ford said...

I normally do not comment on our own posts but this is different...

I could say you guys don't know what it means to have those who have followed your journey respond in such an outpouring of kindness and if you will allow, in such a show of love... but I know you do.

We are humbled. Truly, sincerely, humbled. You all mean so much to us and have shared our hopes and dreams on our journey to Alyzabeth An, all the while tending to your own journey. Your own dreams. Your own joys and pain. It's been tough. It's been fantastic. You all know what we mean. And through it all, it has been the very best of times. We have never stopped counting our blessing and at the end of each day we give thanks to friends like you.

As Aly would say, Ford, you're being too flowery... She's right. Nothing new there. Still, we want to thank you all for being so supportive. Always willing to listen. To offer encouragement. And most importantly, always being there for us and with us.....

Thank you. Bless you.

peace
ac & fm

Traci said...

Thank you for visiting our blog tonight. It's nice to meet you Alyson.

I'm thrilled to know that your month is up and that soon you too will have the opportunity to be changed by a very beautiful and precious child.

I look forward to watching from the sidelines and cheering you on.

This post amazed me. You and all the others that have had to endure this torturous wait have my admiration and hugs. I can't imagine what it's been like for you all.

Looking forward to reading more.

Traci

www.journeytojaden.typepad.com/watchingthemgrow

heutehiermorgendort said...

Oh wow, it is getting close! I absolutely admire you for being able to live through that looong waiting time! Referral day can't be too far away now.

Melissa said...

So perfectly said! As usual you capture the emotons of this wait so eloquently!!

Mike and Rhonda said...

Wow! Beautiful.....I am excited for all the Jan people. Cannot wait to see Alyzabeth's sweet little face.