Friday, May 18, 2007

Some Questions & Comments proffered along the way…

“Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about.”
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park

“So, you’re going to be Mr. Mom.”

No, I’m going to be dad to our latest and greatest family addition. Alyzabeth’s mom is not able to retire just yet; I’m older and I’m eligible to retire so I get to stay home with her. So as you can see, Alyzabeth has a mom, as in Alyson. I’m dad. As in Ford.

“Our church teaches the man is the head of the home and leads by working.”

I’m sure by that statement you’re not implying that caring for a child is “woman’s work” and carries “less value” to the family. I’m sure you didn’t mean that. Or that it’s not work. No, no I’m certain that’s not what you’re implying…

I don’t agree with everything my church teaches which is just one reason I’m glad the common lay person learned to read the Bible for themselves. Truth is, I don’t agree with everything my political party throws out either. As a matter of fact, Aly and I don’t agree on everything. Imagine that. My Lord teaches that to Lead we must Serve others. I have served my family financially outside the home and I will continue to do so in retirement. Equally important is my willingness and ability to serve my family by caring for and nurturing Alyzabeth An. And I will continue to place my personal relationship with God before church doctrine. Or is that indoctrination?

“I don’t understand why you don’t adopt domestically, we’ve got lots of kids that need good homes?”

So I take it you are adopting? Oh you’re not. Still, I bet you’ve kept up with all the qualifications, regulations and jumping through the hoops when it comes to domestic and international adoptions? Oh you haven’t but you know someone who has adopted.

That’s nice. And it’s been nice talking to you…

“This adoption of yours sure seems to be taking a long time. You sure that bunch that has your money is legit?”

Nah. We just jumped right into this without a second thought. We’d been up all night drinking and one thing led to another and before you know it we were dialing up 1-800-FOR-AKID. Mailed in our check for $100,000 payable to the Chinese government. Another $50,000 to the US government and we still haven’t finished paying our Agency or the US government as for as that goes…

Or it could be that we’ve been caught up in a slow down through no fault of our own but hey, that’s not as good of a story. So knock yourself out and go with whatever turns you on.

“That little girl sure is lucky to have you all adopting her.”

We don’t subscribe to luck. We are blessed by having Alyzabeth purposefully placed to our care. To our love. To our forever family. Alyzabeth is a gift that is both treasured and humbling. To those whom much is given, much is required…

“Man, are you guys in for a rude awakening. You sure you know what you’re getting yourselves into?”

Yes and No.

We are not the first to journey this path nor do we represent the last. We will have our “awakening” and when we do we will look at one another and remember to give thanks for a prayer answered and the opportunity to love as we have been loved…



redmaryjanes said...

It couldn't have been said better. I love this post. Especially the resonse to 'Why don't you adopt domestically?'. I get that all of the time. Maybe I should just print this out and hand it to people instead of having to give the same responses over and over.

C.J. said...

Love those answers. I've certainly heard the questions.

I'm with redmaryjanes. I need to tattoo some answers on my forehead.

Nina, David & Ariel said...

Brilliantly and perfectly said!

Glad to know I'm not the only one on the receiving end of these kinds of thoughtless comments and questions.

Love the 1-800-4AKID response :)

Momus Anonymous said...

I often get the "she's so lucky" comment -- the other day at the post office the guy behind the counter asked if I was adopting because so many celebs like Angelina and Meg Ryan have made it an "OK thing to do."

amy said...

Great post.Im cool with questions but when you get the same ones over and over, it gets to you

rubyiscoming said...

I heart Ford. Great post, my friend :)

Dawn, Brian & Guinness said...

Great & Awesome answers to the all of those stupid & idiotic questions!!!!!

~Dawn :)

ps... we get the "Why don't you adopt an American kid" question all of the time ... and NOT ONE of the questioners has ever adopted an American child!!!!
Not a single one!!

bbmomof2boys said...

Believe it or not we haven't had a a bunch of comments. When I first told people we were adopting from China one girl said that it's the "in thing to do lately". Hmmm...whatever. That is probably the worse one I've gotten. Living in a small town I'm sure I'll get more once she comes home. One of the highschool coaches adopted almost 2 years ago from China and is logged in for their 2nd. They have blazed the trail for us!! :)

P.S. - thank you for the 1 yr anniversary comment!!


Don and Be said...

Love your humor - answers are right on target with an edge - I like it.
Here's one I'm ready for - "Oh, are you her father?"
------"Hey don't I kinda look like Buddah?"

Just Tryin' to Be A Blessing,